I was 17 when I started taking Cymbalta everyday, 120 mg (2×60mg) as I was diagnosed with mild depression and anxiety disorder after I lost my speech due to a staggering trauma. Now I am 21, and it was 8th of December 2014 when I realized that I should just quit it. I reached this static point where all days felt the same, all feelings felt the same and I became a machine. Yes, it made me ignore the abyss sometimes, yes, it made me cry less but it never changed reality. I asked myself, when I get married and try to conceive, will I allow myself to still pop these pills like that? What will that do to the baby? Is it even a way to live? Be dependent on the pill like you are some kind of vending machine that won’t give out the chips until you place your two coins. Is it going to stay this way? I will not be productive until I take Cymbalta. I am not good at all with dates, however, 8th December was fairly one of the worst days of my lives. Here are a few of the symptoms what I felt the morning I woke up:
1. Nausea: I threw up anything and everything. From water to the any solid food. 
2. Buzz: I felt like someone is constantly zapping me. I can see flashes in front of my eyes and feel like my brain is getting electrified.
3. Tasteless: My mouth was dry all the time, I felt like no matter how much water I drink to make the feeling go, the resilience wasn’t as expected. The feeling was too hard to shake, too hard to ignore.
4. Migraine: To be completely honest, I get migraines very frequently but with withdrawal of Cymbalta, it was something I had to live with.
5. Dizziness: Besides the constant postural hypo-tension, there is always that feeling of your head going around and once I was so unstable that I fell to the ground on my apartment corridor.
6. Hopelessness: Putting aside all the somatic symptoms, the psychological ones were real torture. Suicide was on my mind when I woke up and before I go back to sleep, however the indecisiveness the medicine gave me, applied to every other situation not only suicide.
7. Great Depression Era: It was everything I was trying to avoid while taking Cymbalta and it is everything I experienced. Constant agony and melancholy that it could ooze out of me and that is why I decided being alone is the best thing ever.

My sister noticed how I am changing. I always used to nag her to go out no matter what day it is and no matter how busy we are and one day she came telling me: “I will go shower and then let us go out with the family.” I said no. She asked me how the hell can I say no and that I am not the same old me anymore.
Even after more than two months without Cymbalta, I still feel that I am not the same person anymore. A part of me is gone forever and it is not coming back. I don’t know if I can live with that but what is done is done and now all I can do is worn whoever is thinking of starting this horrible medication. Please don’t. Trust me, dealing with depression is not easy I know but dealing with the withdrawal effects of Cymbalta is almost impossible.

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